Today, as I was sitting, I thought about every way I could fail, which induced this unexplainable sort of nausea. The kind where I want to throw up but not needing to. It's because lately, there's been so much to responsibilities and expectations, and I'm overwhelmed. The worst part is I feel like I'm not making any sort of progress. Everything has been piling on, and it's taken quite a toll on my self-confidence. I just want to be someone that can handle anything and everything you know. One misstep in my responsibilities makes me feel like I'm failing myself and the people I care about. I know well enough that I'm competent and everything on my plate is doable, but I can't seem to dodge these waves of sadness and anxiety. 

No one is a tool for your self-gratification. Nor are you anyone else's tool. We live to serve ourselves first. We extend service only when others do the same. 

A reminder to remember; you have so many people that love you. If you disagree, remember that this momentary loneliness is just a segment of the bigger picture. Company comes at unexpected moments. Lingering in the stark white of winter, in the flowers of spring, in the heat of summer, and in the yellowing of fall. Smile in the face of the devil.

 Some advice I heard somewhere that I want to pass along.  Always assume someone in the room knows something you don't.  Never shares secrets. Be particular with who you share good and bad news. 

I feel we're influenced to think that life should be more complicated than it really is. I think it's just finding things that bring happiness, having appropriate freedoms, and enduring hardships that ultimately lead to joy. 

Self-management, at least for me, is having no room at all in my mind for how unhinged people can act toward me. 

Skeleton with a cigarette. We talk with no regret. My heart beats fast in a fishbowl. Yours evident from bone to bone. You bring joy from unexpected places. From texts to peculiar faces. I took a smoke to make some time. To wonder whether your question was benign. I go through the same eb and flows. The question of, am I in love? Or is it just the smoke?

Be considerate.  In an age of self-centrism,  there's no satisfaction in a-void.   Others. The need to notice.  To notice the needs.

I find it difficult to be in any sort of relationship because I'm viciously reactive. A lot of what makes me this way is past hurt and abandonment. It's like a disease that eats away at my self-confidence. I find that stepping back, slowing down, and taking everything in incrementally makes the act of building a relationship so much more pleasant. I'm trying to drop this mentality that people are out to scorn me. I'm not completely there yet, there's still distrust that clings on, but I definitely feel a lot lighter now. 

We rationalize our deceptive behaviour. We empower ourselves by giving logic to our dishonest actions. Get out of this comfort zone of rationalization, and look at your actions objectively. Even better, start looking at your actions through others' lenses. I think the reason we never want to admit dishonesty is that its opens up doors to vulnerability and judgement. The thing is, you have to see start seeing that vulnerability and judgement are the catalysts for self-growth. 

Why is there resistance when people speak about the bad parts of everyday life?  People always try to display pessimistic feelings through a positive frame or through comparison. No. There's as much value in knowing just how bad things are versus how great things can be. There wouldn't be any joys in life if we didn't first know and understand everything that makes it bad. We cope according to our hurt and pains. I think it's important to acknowledge that every emotion contributes to the best version of ourselves, not just the ones that makes us feel good.

I put a lot of weight on people's opinions about me. So much so that there's hardly any room for Genuity. I think there's so much time put in trying to be palatable that we lose our sense of individuality. Stop retreating into this person created through public acceptance. 

Do you know why love can be such a nuisance? It's the fact that no matter how well you structure your life, the chaos always wedges itself in. I spent the past months in a state of contentment and peace. However, all of a sudden, everything flipped upside down. I quickly realized how much I enjoyed a specific person's company; I defy all of the good that made my status quo to have an ounce of their love. It sounds like I'm on some sort of addictive drug, but that's the best analogy! Not only do I have visceral physical reactions, but I also have delusions and irrational thoughts. I start seeing simple acts of kindness as bold acts of infatuation. Love is dangerous. I know that well enough now. The only way to my heart is if the person I like explicitly tells me they want me back. Otherwise, I'll proceed to how things are. Quiet and unbothered.

How can someone expect you to treat others with kindness if you can't treat yourself with kindness?

Nothing is more infuriating than people resorting to fraudulent activity to make money when they are more than capable of making an honest living. People who scam others out of money earned through blood, sweat, and tears are simply unfeeling. Scammers don't realize the gravity of what they do. They quite literally ruin lives, especially in a society where money makes things turn. There's no justifying what they do. They know what they are doing is wrong and yet made the conscious decision that monetary gain outweighs ruining people's lives. I hope for a world that punishes evil intent. 

a psychological feeling of progress toward a goal that was always just out of grasp.

If you think about the pursuit of success deeply, you'll realize that trying to move at a pace uncomfortable to yourself is pointless. Those people you strive to be, who make quick work of life, can do so because they have competence and understanding of what's ahead. If you're mindlessly following their lead, you'll run beyond your capabilities; that's when you'll fall hard. Instead, slowly push yourself. If success is truly in your mind, the trajectory of your life is always up. It doesn't matter how fast; people live an average of 80 years. Say you strive to become your definition of successful at 30. what then? There are so many years ahead of you. Stop trying to condense your goals into single digits. Stride at a pace where you make the value of the things you learn.