Dear, My love is pure and bottomless. In all my wanting to serve and love you, I was killing myself. I slit my throat with daggers you threw at me. I heard that when you love someone so much, them hating you doesn't make you hate them, you hate yourself. I hated myself, really hated myself. I know that isn't fair to me though. My love is pure and bottomless. I don't deserve that. Sincerely,
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Showing posts from May, 2023
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Be unassuming. Otherwise, you'll cry.
I love you.
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Is my lover authentic? I am always left questioning, always left competing. Heart, soul, and mind in a race. Objectivity erased. Spent days thinking, Wandering, Wondering. Taking my necessary steps. Disillusioned and with a saddening conclusion. I am not loved. I am tolerated, Like a coffee too sweet. Love should not be in secrecy. I should not have over-fastidious concerns about how you feel for me. Love should not feel this empty. I should not have concerns about one-sided empathy. Love is not competing for affection, I should not have concerns about facing jealousy. Love is not unsure, I should not feel concerned that you would reject me. Four reasons against three words.
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I have been hurt before, It's hard for me to trust you completely, especially when there's this constant planting of doubt in my mind. I would rather have my heart broken than to constantly be hoping that you are the one. I cant love someone who can't fully commit to me or is unsure. I want to show you love but I'm afraid that it will push you away.
Pious
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Pious, I'm honest to a fault. Like fault lines, I'm in an aggressive subduction. Transfixed to your person, I love everything about you. Your flaws are like patina on silver jewelry. An added charm to an intricate design. I wear you on my sleeve. You leave hallmarks on my heart. You make my mind run wild with your faces and smiles. Love me, love me not. Words of allusion. When 'I love you' is my only conclusion.