Sometimes you're just not part of the same puzzle box. 

  Today tears flow like a waterfall.

I no longer feel an ounce of attraction to you.  You can finally rest assured that I will never fall in love with you ever again.  You showed me a part of you that is too strong a rouge. I realize that I add nothing to your life.  I made that observation on that fact. You make an effort if it counts.  I'm not blind to situations. I'm not worth it.

  You do your best to keep me happy, to make up for the fact that you can't be with me? I appreciate your kindness, but this is the last thing I want. I never wanted you to suffer; the whole reason why I fell in love with you in the first place is that I felt it in my being to care for you; to nurture you. Think it through; there's no win for me in this situation. Let me paint the picture. You become distant, and I get sad. When I see you, I'm reminded of how I can't be with you; I get sad. When you see me, you feel heartbreak, and you get sad, which makes me sad. When I'm distant, you move on; I get sad. Don't try to make me smile; when you're suffering, it's counterproductive. I just wanted to be honest with my emotions; I was fully prepared for every consequence, even your "I know that wasn't what you expected." I want you to be happy. Okay? You have no obligation to me. Stay true to your words; how you're acting right now shows just...

  Why would you ask me questions like that? How can you be so unfeeling? Why would I want that? You know what I want. Leave me alone with your nonsense. 

  I've been researching how love is supposed to be. Everything was coherent and consistent with what I was going through; It reinforced my emotions and observations about you. However, during my look, a line of reasoning shifted my center of gravity. "because if you loved someone, why wouldn't you tell them." My conclusion is you don't love me. Or, unlike me to you, your love doesn't prevail in every context.

And just like that, you're meaningless. Another temporary insignificant piece of my life. 

I needed a couple of reasons to hate you anyway.  You are insensitive about how I feel; You always have been. I turned a blind eye to that because I love way too hard. You lack conviction. You cling to an apathetic facade to avoid real issues in your life. You only ever acknowledge me when I reach out to you. I don't remember you ever checking up on me or ever worrying about me. It's always one-sided.  You grow and grow more like a stranger as the years have gone. I don't feel like you appreciate my company anymore.  You could live your life perfectly fine even if I weren't around. I realize your life would probably be so much better if I weren't around anyways. You probably think that too. You act in the manner that annoys me the most; I always push the idea to the back of my head, but, you know what, I hate that you're selfish. I hate that I have to hear you talk about how you are so deprived of love when I could give you all the fucking love in the world. How...

  Thanks for trying. I appreciate that. I kept it at that. I was a fool for thinking that was enough.

Too unsettled to do anything right now. I need to mend and reconstruct; only then is when I will feel ready.

Why are you still feeding into the idea? You are the loser; just get over it. Let the person be. 

  You are genuinely kind. I just fell in love with...you; all of what you are. I'm wrong for thinking that you used me for your own validation. You do love me, just not how I want you to. It would be a lie to say I'm okay with that, but what can I really do? I can't just blow a candle and be with you. I want your unconditional love.  

  I stepped on a rose bush today, I felt terrible about it, It festered in my mind for some time. I'm not sure if the thorns are still hanging on my sole. I told myself I was alright, I don't think I am. I told myself that some things can't be undone. It's better to just move forward...right? I feel haunted, It's like a ghost living is living in my mind. Nonsensical. Just forget about it.

  I get a little confused sometimes as to what it is I want from people. I need some sort of mechanism to protect myself from heartbreak. 

I honestly wholeheartedly tried today. I just can't act like I'm okay around you. If I can be frank, I'd rather you just not talk to me. Meaningless interaction will not fix how you broke my heart.  "Don't try to speak to me; it's the last thing I want right now."