Hair made of dragon heads, you meet my gaze. Eyes burning with passion and allure, I stun you. You look aroused. Still from elation. Vasodilation.  I feel my blood flow. You make me want to shed my skin. It tells me to play the fool.  My breath turns heavy like I've seen my prey. I hold back my instinct to attack. My mouth waters, My mind wanders. "I want to take a bite of you."

  I just don't understand it.  Any more,  and I think it's fatal. It's just you seem so pink. A feeling unlike any other. Clinging to my heartstrings.  Authentic love. Sporadic bursts of irrationality. Acts of impulsivity. Hints of sensitivity. Bitter jealousy.   Unforgiving Sadness. The perpetual idealistic feeling that, you want to be with me.

  I want to find someone I can talk to without feeling insecure about oversharing. I want to pour my heart out to someone who can take all of me. As of now, I have not found that person; but one day, I'm sure they will come. 

  I know I love you because I seek you.  I know I love you because I miss you.  I know I love you because I'm unyielding.  I know I love you because I'm determined. I know I love you because I'm forgiving.  I know I love you because I'm overthinking. I know I love you because I'm transfixed.

I've been thinking about you. I think about whether I should try to find someone else to love. The more I let the thought marinate in my head, the less inclined I am to do so. I so badly want to talk to you about it, but I'm afraid you'll dismiss it. I want to ask you why we grew so apart. I want to ask if you do value me. I want to know if you'll ever change your mind. 

  It hurts the most when you are kind. But I'd rather you be kind and present than cold and nowhere to be. I still have the hopeful and naive mentality of 'Just be with me, and I'll promise to catch all the floating criticisms.'

I look at what you listen to. It wraps my head with irrational thoughts like  "I love you too." False reports to a missing person case;  It sets my hopes ablaze. "I love you." I was engulfed with expectations. I die with the realization, That you listen to all sorts of songs, And I should look elsewhere.

I can't seem to see you as anything else other than that. 

I would be lying if I told you I took that picture just because I felt like it. A big part of me wanted you to see me; see me be in the best light I could be. Despite everything, I still want you to be taken aback.  Low.

When all of a sudden you are the object of desire, the thought of weaponizing gives me utter disgust.