I'm tired of feeling inadequate. I'm tired of feeling sad. I'm tired of being swallowed up by words. I'm tired of soaking in my hurt. I'm tired of thinking about ways to fix impossible problems. I'm trudging forward. I don't know why I sunk myself to this idea that my redemption is in self-destruction. I realize it's not my duty to fix you. I did all of that I could. In all the sharp words, looks of contempt, feelings of discomfort. I'm trudging forward. 

I find it difficult to be in any sort of relationship because I'm viciously reactive. A lot of what makes me this way is past hurt and abandonment. It's like a disease that eats away at my self-confidence. I find that stepping back, slowing down, and taking everything in incrementally makes the act of building a relationship so much more pleasant. I'm trying to drop this mentality that people are out to scorn me. I'm not completely there yet, there's still distrust that clings on, but I definitely feel a lot lighter now. 

I feel challenged by myself. I want to be so great that I won't ever have days where I wish to rebuke or deny myself. That will be my new goal and a personal promise. 

I think it's a weakness of mine to always be thinking deeper than I should be about others' actions. I guess in a lot of ways, I look beyond simply what's there. People just aren't as considerate as I would like them to be. I think moving forward, I shouldn't be either. It took me so long to realize just how selfish everyone around me really is.  In the world we live in, appreciation is short-lived. 

There's nothing worse than losing yourself in order to be marketable.

The betterment of your situation drives successful actions. Don't be counterproductive; know why you do something. 

  I had a dream today about a really tall plant. Reading into it, I think it's an analogy for reaching newer heights. I hope my dream translates into reality because, as of now... I feel stunted. I'm striving to be the best version of myself always, but I question what that really means for me. I guess I'll just wait and see.

I can feel myself changing. Changing for the better. Loving myself more than I did before!

I just realized that I shouldn't feel lost because my goal has always been finding happiness, and happiness can be found in all sorts of places; specifics shouldn't matter; specifics shouldn't sadden me!   

I hope for you to know that whenever I was distant or seemingly disinterested, my only goal was that I didn't want to grow too attached. I knew it would be detrimental for both of us. I care about you so much that I made sure that I would never stand in the way of your goals, no matter how hurt I might become. I did all that for your sake, and it ruined me and our relationship. I was between a rock and a hard place. My mental state was being crushed. Eventually, I couldn't bear the weight, and so I figured that telling you would liberate me from all of it. When those words came out, I was crushed in a different way, the kind where I completely collapsed. Despite my initial sorrow, I saw good come out of the situation. I no longer have to carry such a large burden with a frail structure. I rebuilt myself; with a lot more durability and a lot more love. I have settled with what you could give me. My hope now is that I can win you back. I just want to see where that takes me, wher...

It's kind of nice not having to give you so much attention. It's kind of nice that I don't have to make sure you are alright all the time. It's kind of nice that the times I think of you and is when I think of others. It's nice that you don't get a little extra piece of me anymore.       I've never been careful with what I say; that's what makes me me. When I gave you my puppy love, I lost my bark. I feel free that I no longer have to approach you with a censor. If you don't like my new self, the one prior to you, then goodbye. 

Get a hold of yourself. Don't be overwhelmed by trivial things; you are capable, hardworking, and ambitious. Go at your own pace. You are your only competitor. 

I feel like when I'm not so focused on liking some, I tend to shine just a little bit brighter. I start seeing the parts of me that I really love.

Dismiss me as a fool? When I am no fool? I am only a fool if I refuse to learn.  Don't be impatient with me! That makes you a fool. It's foolish to believe people are incapable. It's foolish to think that you are omniscient. Dismiss me as a fool. 

I realized that I had an unhealthy attachment to people. I try to focus on myself now, and honestly, I feel a lot better. Before, I felt as though my only goal was to be prevalent in people's lives. Now, I've finally realized that there's nothing wrong with being a little bit selfish. There's nothing wrong with wanting self-interested goals. There's nothing wrong with the concept of 'myself.' 

Growing up is realizing that it's not about how big your social circle is; it's about the quality.