This is the beginning of something great. I realized that I have an attached personality type. I'm so deluded by a little bit of affection from people that I stop objectively thinking about them. I just see them as my saviour. I think about that now, and it's repulsive. I don't know why it took me this long to realize that all this time, I've been my own hero. I'm all the affection I need.It's essential to embrace self-love before extending love to others. Only once you have learned to love yourself entirely can you offer genuine love to those around you.

There are so many talented people around me. Lately, I've been feeling inspired by their confidence. I don't want any sort of strength I possess to go to waste. 

To all the people who plant this seed of doubt in my mind about my capabilities, I rebuke you. I pull you and your roots out of my brain. You are simply a conglomeration of unnecessary distractions, a rootball so dense grasping for validation through destroying my and others' self-confidence. At the end of the day, the most meaning from life comes from the kindness you are able to show. With how you are and how you act, I foresee an extreme decline in some level of your life. 

I'm crazy to think that I can find what I'm looking for when I use you as my frame of reference. Since I've settled with the idea that my treasure is your chest, I fail to realize how empty we both are. My treasure is elsewhere, in some different chest; I will filter through strongholds and endure disappointments until I find it. I want to be able to find treasure, but even If I don't, I'm already living comfortably. These days I'm content with the thought. 

There's nothing worse than losing yourself in order to be marketable.

The betterment of your situation drives successful actions. Don't be counterproductive; know why you do something. 

There are days when I hate being in my skin, days when I feel trapped in a repulsive room, disappointed by the fact that I can't meet my ideals. One thing I have disregarded as a norm is the feeling of discomfort when I see raw images of myself. I'm not fond of the creeping feeling I get when I see my insecurities flaring up. I hide behind fake portrayals to avoid such feelings. Eventually, I fool myself into thinking these fake identities are truths. I'm trying to learn that no person loves themselves one hundred percent, one hundred percent of the time. There's always going to be that one 'thing.' With that said, it's a blessing to have a capable vessel. Despite all the shortcomings of our bodies, we must approach it as we do with a gift, with honest, complete appreciation. 

The question has always been, how can I be better for someone else? When it should be, how can I be better for myself?

    Do you  know what feels absolutely terrific? It's when you no longer put so much pressure on yourself to be a perfect person. No one is perfect. Even Adonises have flaws. One particular thing I think about is my level of competency and intelligence. It's been quite a journey, but I realized that it's stupid to think that you are the only one that's 'stupid'! The status quo is to shun those around us who don't meet the conventional types of intelligence...but why? There's been unnecessary grief I put on myself all my life because I think I am less than those around me because I can't solve something or have difficulty comprehending something. It's so degrading to quantify ourselves. I've learned that life goes beyond just proving your worth to people. Plants don't grow because they feel pressured to. They grow because it's natural. 

The less you focus on your outward appearance, the happier you are with yourself. The less often you are entranced by a lake that can drown you. 

To feel both ashamed and liberated by your To be both elated and sad that the weight you carry no longer holds you down. To be hopeful and give up at the same time. 

I don't know what it is, but it feels like everything clicked at this moment. I feel incredible, like I can do anything.

Okay, some people don't deserve my kindness; I'm so over trying to make people who always feel shitty happy. It's so draining. I think this year will be a year of self-preservation. One where I won't have to give a fuck about meaningless people in my life.

To the person who made me feel shitty about what I can and cannot do,  my capabilities are beyond what you can ever imagine.  You will never be able to plant a seed of doubt in my head.  You say things of spite to your reflection.  Punishing me is punishing you.  The demons inside you, your insecurities,  they will continue to grow as you feed them your self-projection.  They will fester to your soul, and you will rot.  

I can feel myself changing. Changing for the better. Loving myself more than I did before!

       I don't need to prove that I add value to the world. I do. I don't need to be validated by random people on social media to feel like I'm worth something. I feel obligated to go along with the crowd because success is hiding inside it, but... success is from within. Societal pressure shouldn't get to me. I want to live an authentic, happy, and fulfilled life. 

The pains are gone; a few headaches here and there, but I feel better.  I used to think that I couldn't imagine a world without you. But the man with three hands hanging on my wall showed me otherwise.  In the background, two ghosts standing in place of you and me. I cried my heart out. My face is clean.  The pains are gone.

To the artist that reinvented me, I thank you. You made a mosaic of my broken pieces. All of me meticulously laid to form a beautiful image. My blues made up the sky. My green tinting the ground. My yellow, forming daffodils all around. My red made up a door. To the artist that reinvented me, thank you for the opportunity to see a better version of me.

I am loved, and I feel loved. I just wanted to immortalize that. For whenever, loneliness manifests itself again.

Have you ever been afraid to admit that you are falling out of love with someone? For some reason, I am. My person has provided so much structure to who I am and who I want to be. The thought of them leaving is synonymous with the idea of me losing a part of my identity. Repetitive heartbreak taught me that; my love is simply a bewildering attempt to find myself. I no longer feel like we could be together. I'm happy for you, but not in the way that "it makes happy that you're happy." In a way, I'm utterly apathetic to who you want to be with; you don't deserve me. I feel a duty to preserve my happiness.