You do not have power over me. I don't recall a time ever giving permission to judge how I act. I know I'm not hurting anyone. I know what I'm doing. I know it's good for me. I don't need you to treat me like I'm your project. When I mind my business, manage your own. Do you think I care if I don't please you? Definitely not. The fact that you feel privileged to tell me when I should or shouldn't be doing something irks me. Your presence is nothing but a nuisance. I see your eyes so heavily fixated on trying to hypnotize me into bending to your will; the only thought that runs my mind is how much of an insane person you really are. Don't try to nitpick how I am when I can easily unravel what type of person you are. Don't dissect me, and when your entrails can be seen from a mile. Don't fix me when you got a few screws loose. What I'm trying to say is, don't control my life; control yours. We all just have one for a reason. 

It's not that I don't want to be with you, it's just that, I don't want to be the first one to give my heart. I know you're my lover when passion outways fear.

You know what's absolutely fantastic and terrifying at the same time, the fact that you won't fully know what impact you made in someone's life. I think it's important to be kind, that way the sun shines bright. 

I used to think I was really sad, but then I realized my life was just so boring. There's definitely joy in variety. 

Today I am proud I put forth such a welcoming and exuberant demeanour. I  felt warmth; everyone I interacted with felt like the sun, radiating positivity like UV rays of happiness. I think the catalyst of why I had such an amazing day is that I smiled as much as I could.  I felt like it really went a long way in making people's day. It's fantastic to be able to make people's days a slight bit better. What I learned from today is that a small act of showing kindness unlocks this sort of greatness in people.  

There's this person I more and more have become attracted to.  The natural reaction would be to woo, to charm, to become a focal point of their every gaze. As much as I want to do all this, I know well enough to test the waters. Love isn't something you drive for head first. It's something you prepare for, like catching a fish. You need to consider all sorts of factors to make sure you are able to make the catch and make sure that the catch stays on the line. I can't just give all of myself to uncertainty; my heart can't handle that. 

From someone else's perspective, I'm probably the most well-adjusted, well-liked kind of person. Little do they know I'm like a bottle afloat in the middle of the ocean, drifting, waiting for someone to come along and enjoy the messages I carry inside. I'm as lost and hopeful as any other person. Furthermore, I get scared that at any waking moment, I'm not above water. 

I think it's a weakness of mine to always be thinking deeper than I should be about others' actions. I guess in a lot of ways, I look beyond simply what's there. People just aren't as considerate as I would like them to be. I think moving forward, I shouldn't be either. It took me so long to realize just how selfish everyone around me really is.  In the world we live in, appreciation is short-lived. 

When I'm around people I don't know very well, I get uncomfortable. I create a voice of reassurance inside my head that's helpful for a short while, but I start feeling disparity between people again. It's one thing to convince myself I'm loved, and it's another to manifest being loved into my action. It's hard for me to make eye contact. My conversation doesn't flow well. I stutter. Moreover, I'm focused on everything else but what's being said. I wish I could just act out of love.  

There's a lot of humility in not oversharing. The reason is that you are not too caught up in your own life. You acknowledge the complexities of others'. I learned that I'm so much happier when I'm not preoccupied with force-feeding my life to people and hoping it's up to their taste. Food tastes much better when you make changes that cater to your  palate.     

When I get my hopes up, I'm always shocked by how things pan out. Sometimes I sugarcoat reality to the extent that I believe things will work out in my favour. When they don't, I'm in sorrow. I think maybe I should stop creating a map of how things should be and focus more on how I can enjoy the travel. I should respect reality for what it is and not fall into a prescriptive spiral. 

I'm a people sponge. I absorb the good and exaggerate the bad. It's an inconvenient and detrimental trait. I learned a few ways to cope with the fact, though. I compartmentalize interactions far in the back of my mind and treat them like rough draft short stories ready for review. I read into the first lines and look for the whys. I read it over and over again to give the writer constructive criticism. I read into the writer's face and demeanour. That's when I decide if I no longer want to read their piece of work. 

I took a break from writing because I felt that every time I wrote, a flood of all sorts of bad emotions would come my way. I felt a lot of shame, agony, and heartbreak. I always meant for my writing to help me get through days when I felt weak and vulnerable, but it had become just a capsule of memories. Memories I couldn't handle at the time. Now that I feel much better, much more confident. I feel that I can begin to write happily again.  My hiatus was really helpful; it gave me time to really center myself. I thought deeply about all the things that plague my life and realized that it wasn't all that bad. It's amazing the most minuscule things can be big in our heads when mixed with so much irrational thinking and emotion. When you find that quiet space in your mind, most things feel so small.