Dear, My love is pure and bottomless. In all my wanting to serve and love you, I was killing myself. I slit my throat with daggers you threw at me. I heard that when you love someone so much, them hating you doesn't make you hate them, you hate yourself. I hated myself, really hated myself. I know that isn't fair to me though. My love is pure and bottomless. I don't deserve that. Sincerely,
Posts
Showing posts from January, 2023
Recent Post
Be unassuming. Otherwise, you'll cry.
I look out to you.
- Get link
- Other Apps
What do you do if there's a falling out of love? Do you shake the stagnant waters or simply go to where there are mountains? These days I feel like I have been settling for an in-between. From the mountains, I look out into the water. Watching still waters gives me peace but also a sense of aching. I yearn for waves, a sort of signal that there's still life. Hopeful that in the distance, there's still love.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
- Get link
- Other Apps
What I'm starting to learn is hustle doesn't just come from word of mouth. You can't automatically adopt it as a character trait just because hustle culture is becoming a trend. It's actually acquired through lived experience. You only ever understand hustles when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.
The fact that a smart person is questioning and inquisitive gets under their skin.
- Get link
- Other Apps
What separates a smart person from a knowledgeable person is a smart person questions what it is they learn. They look at all the facets of what they have learned versus a knowledgeable person that simply regurgitates what they hear and read. When a smart person is in the face of knowledgeable people, the knowledgeable person gives this aura of distaste and frustration because the smart person can't just accept what they heard. The fact that a smart person is questioning and inquisitive gets under their skin.
To both do the action and endure the feeling.
- Get link
- Other Apps
People have a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of a characteristic. The world labels the current generation as overly sensitive and emotional instead of conscious and mindful. Why is that? What is so wrong with feeling? I think past generations find it unsavoury because taking hold of feelings and emotions is such a foreign idea to them. Resilience is not about completely dismissing your feelings to move past a difficult situation. It also involves transcending beyond the physical to overcome internal barriers in ourselves. To both do the action and endure the feeling.
But I can't
- Get link
- Other Apps
I love you. You told me you don't reciprocate. I know not to want you. However, with every meeting gaze, I lose my senses. Blind to the one truth that matters. Enemy, to my mind, a slave to pathos. Myocarditis. I told myself to reciprocate. But I can't. I love you, and you won't ever love me. That's it.
Receptive and respectful
- Get link
- Other Apps
I'm the type to want to talk to someone I'm romantically involved with about how I feel. I get so much anxiety when I'm alone with my thoughts about 'us.' I want to be able to understand where we stand. I have this giant want, but the issue is I'm not an initiator by nature. For me to initiate my emotions, I need to feel secure that the person on the other end is receptive and respectful. My voice can be, at times, powerful and overwhelming, but that's because there's so much passion and intensity in what I feel. I wrote about how love can, at times, be perceived as malice. At times, mine does. The thing is, I never intend for it to be. All I really want is to be heard by the person whose constantly in my mind.
Bleak and uninteresting
- Get link
- Other Apps
I'm not saying this from a place of negative feeling, but lately, doesn't the world seem a little bit bleak and uninteresting? I find myself constantly looking for something worth looking forward to, but I'm always left disappointed. I run in circles hoping to stumble upon some obstruction that would steer me in a different direction, but no, every day, the same err-free routine. Is this the effect of growing older? I thought I was supposed to be more appreciative of life, but instead, I've become more sensitized to how monotonous things are.