jpenseur; Introspective Personal Journal, Poetry, and Anthology.

You know what sucks about putting a cap on what you think you can achieve later in life vs when you were younger. It takes a lot more time and confidence to break from the mindset.  I think it started after highschool. That's when comparison was really creeping up me.  It's a lot worse now because everyone wants everyone to know how great their lives are. Often times when people don't get the recognition they seek. They are really in your face about how they are at the very least doing better than you.  Retrospectively, I find it kind of funny, I'm sure whenever this would happen to me it left a bad taste in my mouth—I'm now realizing, when people show off or compare,  they recognize there's a lack of something there. Comparison is the thief of joy they say. 

Everyday people work extremely hard to have moments of happiness. Some never do. I have so many opportunities to in my life to live an authentically happy life. Today, I am happy. Always choose light because that's the selfless thing to do. 

The way the different flowers' colours popped all at once, it was so beautiful. You can have so much going on but flowers will always be blooming. Completely exclusive to all your tribulations. Should you be putting so much weight on these things? Should they really be this heavy. 

 Sometimes the things that break your heart fix your vision.

Don't participate in your active exploitation.

I feel like for the longest time I have trying my very best to like everyone else. Out of loneliness? Perhaps. Whatever the case may be, I'm going to stop pretending to care about things I don't really. It takes up too luvj room in my mind. To be this and to be that. To say this. To not say that. It's too much unnecessary noise and clutter. 

 I look at myself from an outside place and I don't know who I'm looking at. When I see who I was and who I am now, I feel that I have lost someone important. I wonder if we will ever meet again.