I think you are really great, and I would totally want to be with you, but you make me feel insecure. Insecure in the sense that your eyes linger. That my love is not enough of a force to keep you by me and me alone . I love you, I know that's true, but do you really love me? In my sleep, I question. Who?  Who else can take your heart away from me? If I have to fight to take it from you, is it truly worth it? I want the reassurance that you will be there for me, that you will love me and me alone. 

Dismiss me as a fool? When I am no fool? I am only a fool if I refuse to learn.  Don't be impatient with me! That makes you a fool. It's foolish to believe people are incapable. It's foolish to think that you are omniscient. Dismiss me as a fool. 

I just love you so much. Oftentimes, it feels like I'm holding back a nuclear bomb of raw emotion. It's a paradox; painful bliss. My love for you feels like I'm being engulfed in a poisonous gas of serotonin. Words cannot express it. Analogies cannot picture it. Only one thing can stop this perpetual loop I'm in, and that one thing lives one right, four blocks, three lefts, and two doors away. 

You know those moments when you feel like something good is coming your way, but you decide to refute the idea. I'm having one of those moments right now; I keep thinking to myself that this "hopeful" feeling will soon turn sour when I come to realize that I'm no benefactor; that nothing good is coming my way.  Situations like this have happened to me so many times that, at this point, I realize my only real shield from crushing disappointment is becoming a realist. I can't seem to shake this feeling off. I guess it's human nature to be hopeful. I hope you come my way. 

I realized that I had an unhealthy attachment to people. I try to focus on myself now, and honestly, I feel a lot better. Before, I felt as though my only goal was to be prevalent in people's lives. Now, I've finally realized that there's nothing wrong with being a little bit selfish. There's nothing wrong with wanting self-interested goals. There's nothing wrong with the concept of 'myself.' 

I love this space for what it is. A space for fundamental leadership. A space to better my life. 

There's a hole inside my soul that seems to grow by the day. I'm not too sure why it's there... I try to shoot it down, but I always miss the mark. It's like there's an invisible force stopping me from figuring everything out.  Maybe...everything is already figured out. Maybe, I'm supposed to embrace this hallowed space within me. Perhaps it's a sign of change.

What's the most painful thing a person can inflict on another? I wouldn't have an answer to that, but I know one thing... overthinking comes close. I wish I could inject my thoughts into the people I think about; what a mess that would be. 

I'm starting to realize what the stinging sensation in my heart is. It's the feeling that I'm unimportant in people's lives. It's the thought that people are apathetic about the fact that I might be missing out. Soon enough, it will start feeling like a heart attack. I'm scared that I won't be able to get through the trauma. I'm scared that people will only take me for what I am, desperate and scared. 

I'm radiant, yet life is slowly becoming dull. I try to stand out in a crowd of exemplary people. I try to be that pink sheep, yet, despite all my screams...I'm still invisible. I'm mute because...what is there to talk about. How I'm lonely? How I'm green? How I'm constantly hungry? It's too much at once, like shells to the chest. 

I think I'm lost. Don't know how to feel and don't know how to act.

I've been pondering for quite a while, and I've come to realize that.. 'Watashi wa anata ga daisuki desu' means more to me than I would like to admit. I don't care about all the repercussions of me saying that because... fuck it. No force can stop me from loving who I want. If, after all that, you're still not sure what I'm saying... I always have.. in some part of me.. liked-liked you. I have always wanted to get that out of my chest. You don't have to reciprocate me-liking you; I'm telling you all this because... when you flirt with me, it hurts a little more since I know it's all fun and games to you (you don't really mean it). Anyways... school is starting soon, you won't get to see me. This makes this confession slightly easier... I'm sorry if, in some way, this ruins your life. I just want to move on because expecting something that's not there is a waste of time.