I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I'm carrying so much weight on me. It's like, at any moment, I'll find myself laying on the floor. Muscles sore, mind in disarray. I can't love properly when I'm like this.

You made time for me despite being so busy. So kind and so funny. 

For some reason, I can't seem to go any further with how I feel. I thought about it for a while, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm scared. Scared of all the threats of something new and unknown to me. You reciprocated affection; the normal response would be thrill, excitement, and joy. I felt all of those for a brief moment. What came after was a barrage of doubt, fear, and anxiety. I'd been thinking about all the ways I could fail or not meet your and everyone's expectations. I have been quite overwhelmed by it. I have been hiding from you and avoiding you. I feel guilty, but I don't know how else to feel safe. 

I have this deep feeling of sorrow that creeps up on me from time to time. I can never point out what it could be or what it could mean. I really don't like myself when I'm like this. Does anyone like me when I'm like this? I'm sorry.  

I am going to take things slowly; we both have busy lives. There's a lot of change and moving parts. I care for you, that's for sure, and I would love to spend all my time with you, but I understand we need room to grow. An extension of love that a lot of people tend to overlook or undermine is giving each other space to be their own people. I want to look forward to knowing who you are. I hope for you to feel the same. 

You make my heart feel so full that it's spilling into my mind. I think about you frequently, and I find myself smiling a little too much. I am so lucky to have met someone so funny, kind, and intelligent. I strive to be everything you could ever want and more.

I am not worried or concerned at all about how you feel about me now. You made time for me, and like a soft warm breeze, everything that was bugging me just went away. The more you unravel the more captivated I feel. You are kind, and so funny, and you have the most charming smile. I'm so geeked out by you, it's embarrassing; the kind where I don't really mind. 

 I feel better. I think I just imploded because too much thoughts built up inside. 

My need for validation or proof of affection it ruining my relationships. It's easy to say you'll dismantle something but it's a completely different feat to actually do it. The thought of making you feel bad makes me feel bad.

You make me feel vulnerable, confused, and to be frank, quite overwhelmed. I don't like any of those feelings. It's a cruelty to myself to let them well up. I have been trying really hard to feel better, but I can't. I need to address what I feel so I'm deciding that I'll be removing you from my sphere of relevance temporarily until I feel better. 

I don't like feeling vulnerable or confused. It feels like myself a cage fibre class, that get thicker and thicker.

If you are gonna treat me like I don't exist the I'll stop entertaining you. I have so much joy I keep for the person who is meant for me. If that's not you, then I'll just have more joy for the person that is. 

I feel so manic and restless. 

I have these manic episodes where I start realizing how objectively awful people are. It's not fine until I stop caring. The less value I place on people who mistreat me, the more they don't matter in my head. 

 I don't want to be anybody other than myself. 

I have an unhealthy habit of becoming too attached to people. I need to back way a bit. Self awareness is only ever as effective as self control. 

I'm having a hard time falling asleep. I feel like I'm falling in this tunnel like mind-set of 'I can't fail' and it seems to be endless. I know I have greatness, yet I just can't seem to shake off these thoughts. I'm restless, which is honestly, the last thing I need right now. 

With the right person, you feel like you don't have to be seen by everybody in the world. 

I feel like I need to reassess my sense of self worth. I need to start thinking I am more than just a collection of people's approval or people's affection. I get so crushed by the idea that I'm falling short to people's ideals or expectations. I should honestly, just care about making sure I'm always bringing one-hundred percent of myself to the table, and that I'm constantly a source of light and love. I need to stop chasing for it, and just start shining. 

Everyone looks like they are on the right track at every aspect in life. Meanwhile, I feel like there's me. An outlier. Someone who is always unsure, always with a light grip on goals that never feel real. I hope to one day find everything I am looking for in this world.