I have not written anything in a while. I have not had the energy to. I have been feeling betrayed, not by anyone specific, but I guess just the world. It sounds overly dramatic but I have been having a hard time coping with how terrible people in this world can be.  I feel that the concept of merit is only afforded to people in power. People love to love people that can elevate them. In this world somebody like me has no power. Therefore somebody like me will always be, and will always feel alone.

No one knows me. No one thinks I am important enough to keep in their lives. I grow bitter each day. I get waves of the past reminding me how much neglect I actually faced growing up and am currently facing. There's been a lot of things that have surfaced that made me realize that I really have no one else in this world but myself. I need to create a life where I don't need to rely on anyone. Bonds mean nothing because no one is selfless. Everything is an act of self interest. I need to be more selfish to protect myself.