I enjoy writing.  Sentences give me joy.  I feel enamoured by how words flow, It is like a warm shower. Comforting.  It feels like droplets jubilantly dancing on my soul. I love how the sounds play in my ear  and how words seem to catch me in a game of tag. I love how definitions build mountains in my brain and how I build bridges to cross.  I love that I get to venture, And catch people's eyes.  I enjoy writing. 

The less you focus on your outward appearance, the happier you are with yourself. The less often you are entranced by a lake that can drown you. 

One thing I started noticing is that friendships can be so transactional. It's great to support each other, but sometimes I think the basis of some cordial support is to show that you aren't 'alone' rather than being happy with the company. I don't know; I don't like that 'keeping up with appearances' mentality; it's suffocating. I would rather be alone. 

I don't mean to be a shroud of negativity, but there are so much pointless things that people put so much weight on. It's so sad. Sometimes I fall into that hole, but I catch myself. Logic tells me that all the validation I'm ever going to need is from within. 

Sometimes you're just not part of the same puzzle box. 

Hair made of dragon heads, you meet my gaze. Eyes burning with passion and allure, I stun you. You look aroused. Still from elation. Vasodilation.  I feel my blood flow. You make me want to shed my skin. It tells me to play the fool.  My breath turns heavy like I've seen my prey. I hold back my instinct to attack. My mouth waters, My mind wanders. "I want to take a bite of you."

To feel both ashamed and liberated by your To be both elated and sad that the weight you carry no longer holds you down. To be hopeful and give up at the same time. 

My unpopular opinion of social media is it's lost its charm of creative freedom and expression and has become a breeding ground for unachievable idealism and insecurity.

I look around me, and I think to myself, I'm not meant for this era. I feel like authentic connections no longer exist. Lately, it feels like to feel a sense of belonging; you have almost to give up your individualism. I look through social media, and I think, "wow, has society become this hollow." Everyone seemed so absorbed by things I think don't matter. I honestly fear the future; I wouldn't say I like how things are and how things are shaping up.

I don't know what it is, but it feels like everything clicked at this moment. I feel incredible, like I can do anything.

I smile too much in the hopes of pleasing people. I'm putting him away. I'm going to start moving on.

Okay, some people don't deserve my kindness; I'm so over trying to make people who always feel shitty happy. It's so draining. I think this year will be a year of self-preservation. One where I won't have to give a fuck about meaningless people in my life.

I always feel like people can't talk to me. Sometimes it takes a toll on me because I try to overanalyze myself and my surroundings. I think about what I said or failed to say. I think a big part of why I try to keep to myself is just that I think I make other people uncomfortable.

It's like I'm holding back a burst pipe. I'm tired of trying to make sure that not a single drop of water hits the floor. My hands tremble at the sheer pressure. Trying to show an outward appearance of "I'm okay." It's sad. I'm soaking in anguish. Wet from tears because idealism broke up with me. I don't even know if there's an end to this leak. Will it eventually run dry? I feel like I'm drowning.

Happy for everyone. I guess that's what really matters? Yeah.

"You miss someone that loved you so much you didn't have to love them back." Beautiful and Tragic.

You meet with someone who piques your interest.  A mutual admiration. Then what? What is the objective?  To fill that part of you that's missing? To satisfy your sexual desires? To find your misplaced purpose in the world? To build a loving family? Why is it that people place so much weight on love?  Why is it that society feels so concrete?  

Simply put, you broke me. You hide behind your euphemisms. You say "thoroughly enjoyed" when you play with my emotions. You say "weathered down" when you mangled me. You say "replaced" when you left me in loathing. "It was an accident."  Here's a euphemism for you. Scaredy cat. 

 I have a deficit in something. That is something I wish I knew.  I stuffed my face with relief. But I was still starving. Part of me isn't getting what it needs. That part, I wish I knew. I try for good dreams,  I wake up exhausted. A solution? Maybe a firm resolution? I wish I knew.

It's hard to be productive when you're feeling lonely. 

That's just how it goes with me; I never stick to things that don't spark joy for me.

Dear, I always want the best for you. 

Those who despise your authenticity are wolves in sheep's clothing. Their molars come out when you explore beyond what you know. Their eyes go green because they cannot comprehend your world.

 Why are you constantly putting on an act? I feel like you have no identity beyond approval seeking. It honestly makes me so angry that I'm dismissed by you. Do you think you're better than me because you are like everyone else?

It's just, why would I be around people who don't enjoy my company? Why should I be around people who make me feel shitty about my decisions? Why should I be around people who make me feel agony, guilt, and remorse? Why should I pretend to be enjoying myself? I'm not a sheep.  

It's not my job to make sure you're happy.  That's on you.  It has always been on you.  Why should I feel guilty?  You're choosing to be a running contradiction.  I just wish you would make your mind up;  kills two birds with one stone.  All of what you're feeling is a result of your actions.

 It's weird; lately, I have been in this limbo of exhaustion and restlessness.