Loving you. It's dangerous  It is like running inside an oval. Keeping track, my mind always in a race. No matter how far I go, it's always close in the back of my mind.  It's dangerous.  Especially since there's a fragility to me. I'm made of glass. A small force is enough to make me shatter.  The friction against my skin is enough to make me chip I must avoid you. I can't shatter.

I love seeing you smile.  It is like being close to fire pit on a cold windy day. I feel warm, and sheltered. I get lost in your light, you are just so beautiful.

I think about other people's pains and struggles and it just makes me so sad. The world is not equal, that's a truth that's hard for me to swallow. 

Make good out of any bad situation.

I realize that people who have live a good life, are never really that visible to the world. Its always the people who are content with what they have and who they are. I think most of the magic in life is what people never really see.  

I find piece in places that allow me pretend like my life isn't hectic. Where I can get lost in just watching people walk by, or listening to nature. 

The constant thought that you are only as good at your art as you are with marketability. Its the not the truth but it's how I feel. 

Individualism can be cruel. The misalignment between perceptions hits like a wall. Blunt force trauma to the heart and soul. You attach a label to the people you meet. A lover, a friend, an enemy, noise. It's like a convoluted game of Mahjong,  where pairs often are just delusions of the mind.  To my lover, I'm a friend. To my friends, I feel like noise. To the world, I feel like an enemy. To the lucky ones that call 'Mahjong,' devote yourself wholeheartedly. 

I'm just some fleeting moment in time.  A small dose of serotonin.  Just that blur in your vivid memories of everybody else.  Though, behind this noise of pixels, there is so much longing.  So much unrealized passion.  So much hope.  I'm the enemy of the one truth that matters to people.  A statement unheard, Unloved. 

I feel worn out and stretched like piece of metal. I used to think I was malleable, but there days I just feel so brittle. 

To be truthful, I was surprised.  For you to tell me all the character flaws and the desires. I was in awe. In my mind,  "A person so unexpectedly beautiful." You have that vulnerability that I shy from, the kind where I blush. An idealist like myself, you are unyielding. Looking for a love that's elevated above the waist.  Focused on heart, mind, and soul. You are the novel of the hour, a novelty amongst crowds.  You are a book with no conclusion.  A read for my realization. 

Everyone feel like they are looming over me.  Watching me with critical eyes.  Attaching me to preconceived notions of what my identify should be, Not really knowing me.  I feel like a caricature of people's hopes and dreams, or someone's imaginary friend. I'm such a people pleaser that I force myself into this cast.  Too many calls for performative theatre. I struggle to find face in a box alter egos. 

Everyone thinks they are right but when the lenses of objectivity shines a blinding light, some quiver in fear.