"Be unassuming. Otherwise, you'll cry."

Life Thoughts

Me — i.e, jpenseur


I've been feeling down lately because I have been thinking about what it means to be successful. I thought about how I didn't have the necessary qualities to succeed. Not only that, I feel like a total fraud because I'm working towards something I don't even know if I'm passionate about. I have a lot of shame, I feel like I owe it to myself to find something that sparks joy in me, but at the same time, I feel shame for being selfish. I know I'm supposed to lead my own life, but I don't know... I feel an obligation to people. What's also been keeping me on the low is that I say all these things about treating myself more and giving more to myself, but I don't exactly know what I want for myself. It's kind of embarrassing that I can digest so many hardships from life and not be able to figure out what I want for myself in the future. I don't like how unsure I am about my life; I wish I could be like other people around me who seem so sure and so competent. I wish I had the necessary means to just live life how I want it, where I get to study what interests me at the moment, instead of hoping that one day I'll enjoy what I dread learning today. 

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