Monkey with Cymbals.
Today, I asked how someone whom I hadn't seen in a while had been, and I was hit with one-word responses; I tried to bring more to the conversation, but I was shut down with the "okay," the kind of "okay" was there so much disinterest that the "o"s piled on, it's as if I said the most boring thing in the world. To give more context to the setting, I was talking in an online group chat. After the whole conversation ordeal, I immediately left the chat to take a breather because I was slightly upset by how this person was treating me. I felt that this person was partial to everyone else but me. I was in deep thought about the peculiarity of that conversation. I went online to see if there were other people who had similar experiences. I came across several articles and found one where it explained that sometimes people who are 'present' but are unresponsive could be suffering through some type of trouble, either tangible, like family or intangible, like mental health.
I, of course, felt guilty; it's just the idea that someone can be like that, which is so foreign to me. I've never really been so upset that I abandoned civil interaction. My rationale for why I was upset in the first place is that I think it's so selfish to act that way. It almost feels like I'm just there to be this person's emotional paper bag, where they can hyperventilate all their troubles. I'm not that person anymore. I can't handle all that. I want to have this mutual good and mutual uplifting, you know. I don't even think I have the capability to make people feel better. I work with the energy people give me. If you want to approach me with disinterest, I'm not going to sit there and be the monkey with cymbals. I'd rather take criticism about our relationship than have you simply tolerate me.