"Be unassuming. Otherwise, you'll cry."

Trapped.

Me — i.e, jpenseur
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I feel trapped inside a bubble. A bubble made of expectations. If I pop it, I'm afraid of just how real and vulnerable I'll feel and be seen. I had a talk with some really important people in life, and it led to a conversation about their expectations of me; to be this ball of success when truly, I feel like I'm worlds apart from what they envision in their heads. I feel sorrow when I think about failing them when they so blatantly tell themselves and others how I'm their glimmer of hope. How I'm meant to be their light under the darkness of uncertainty. I'm made to feel like it's my duty and purpose to make sure they live happy and fulfilling lives. They make attempts to indoctrinate the idea that self-sacrifice for their betterment is the path to my self-fulfillment. I love these people, but I'm not blind to what they want. Essentially, they want to switch places, to put me in the box they lived decades in so that they can roam free and live their wishes. I love them enough to understand, but it's still frustrating. I don't want to have the same path as a genie. I don't want to have to grant others' wishes until I find a fitting replacement. I want to realize my wishes outside of this bubble. 

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