You do your best to keep me happy, to make up for the fact that you can't be with me? I appreciate your kindness, but this is the last thing I want. I never wanted you to suffer; the whole reason why I fell in love with you in the first place is that I felt it in my being to care for you; to nurture you. Think it through; there's no win for me in this situation. Let me paint the picture. You become distant, and I get sad. When I see you, I'm reminded of how I can't be with you; I get sad. When you see me, you feel heartbreak, and you get sad, which makes me sad. When I'm distant, you move on; I get sad. Don't try to make me smile; when you're suffering, it's counterproductive. I just wanted to be honest with my emotions; I was fully prepared for every consequence, even your "I know that wasn't what you expected." I want you to be happy. Okay? You have no obligation to me. Stay true to your words; how you're acting right now shows just...

Days move along, and I miss you less and less.  I don't try to look anymore, though I still anticipate.  I'm no longer excited when we are in a room together.  I'm nervous but in a different way. I guess you could say that I'm no longer fond of you. I'm now terrified; I don't know how to approach you. I'm falling out of love; sorry if that isn't what you want deep down. I took your words hard; I took your words like fact. Hard slap to the face. You're left alone with the consequence of your actions.

Hey, I have been finding the past days, weeks, and even months difficult. I need some sort of closure. There's been one incessant thing that's been bothering me. So I'm just going to ask you one question.  Do you want me to love someone else? 

Friends.  

I've been thinking about you. I think about whether I should try to find someone else to love. The more I let the thought marinate in my head, the less inclined I am to do so. I so badly want to talk to you about it, but I'm afraid you'll dismiss it. I want to ask you why we grew so apart. I want to ask if you do value me. I want to know if you'll ever change your mind. 

  It hurts the most when you are kind. But I'd rather you be kind and present than cold and nowhere to be. I still have the hopeful and naive mentality of 'Just be with me, and I'll promise to catch all the floating criticisms.'

  Maintaining everything in my life feels like I'm breaking my spirit; I'm scared I'll become some mindless drone, slowly rusting away from the mundane day-to-day life.