I hate you.

Please die in my mind. Please cease to exist. Please quiet down the noise and leave me alone. I resent being attached to somebody who made me feel like they cared about me just to leave me alone. If my love and evil, then I'll dine with the devil. 

Who is that person? Hmmm, I don't know 

You know that feeling when you walk through aisles looking at everything but noticing nothing? Fixating, but not with anything at the fore? The only thing encompassing your mind is the thought of whether the person you cared about the most is doing all right. I had today; whenever I think I moved on I get these random jabs of pain in my heart, and in my mind. They're not frequent, but when it hits, it like an invisible hand draws a circle around me. Lines, deep and blue. I get stuck in that bubble. 

You are everything you are supposed to be.

I died. Twice. 

I wonder why, in pursuit of happiness, you cross my mind. We have become estranged, and yet I think about you. I was holding onto the idea that you had the key to my happiness. I realized that no person who caused me so much anguish and despair could ever have something so special.