The melancholy is always lingering just below the surface - almost like gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. 

I'm so good at hating myself. If I put even just an ounce of that energy into being a better person, I think maybe I can get good at liking myself too. 

What I can't see won't hurt me. I love you to the point where a glimpse completely shatters me. I can't fix myself if I'm always met with a reminder. It's never you; not ever your fault once. 

I learned something about me that is so interesting but also so tragic. I generally don't care about how others view me; however, there are a select few that really matter to me. If I don't get the sort of support from the ones so close to my heart, I get so crushed. 

I think I'm broken. I don't see love the way I used to see love. It seems I'm no longer able to absorb it the way I used to. I think I have healed but the scars changed me. I don't know, I think I miss how I used to see love. It's no longer pink; tinged, slightly yellowed. I hope it gets better. Whatever better looks like. 

I wish emotions operated like a switch. I'm often overwhelmed with all of it. It would be nice to just turn it off once in a while. To not care. Caring is a double-edged sword. Happy and Sad at the same time. 

It's sad how sometimes the people you expect the most support from end up disappointing you. Making you feel insecure or not good enough for your ambitions.