"Be unassuming. Otherwise, you'll cry."

Hiatus

Me — i.e, jpenseur
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Is this what it felt like when I left? Is this what it felt like when I wasn't reliable when I wasn't there when you needed me? This feeling sucks. I'm sorry I made you go through all that. 
Sorry, when I returned, my expectations were not realistic. I thought that you wouldn't grow sour; that was naive. 

You've been gone a while, and I miss you. It feels like you're punishing me. I rationalize.

I tell myself, you want space. 

I get evil thoughts; the voice at the back of my mind says, you want to be rid of me because all I ever brought to you is misfortune. 

You don't make me feel loved anymore.

My mind floods with sorries; to apologize for notionless faults. A way to make things better. A way to travel back in time. 

I feel like I'm not worth your effort anymore. Should I just cut the knot on this one? See where the tension leads? 

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