"Be unassuming. Otherwise, you'll cry."

Committing is more than just beautiful words.

I was pondering about why I feel the need to shell and distance myself from you. That vulnerable expression of affection and promise to commit myself to you feels like entering a dark room. It's scary, and I feel this internal pressure to be brave despite not knowing the dangers that lie ahead.  You are the dark room, and it's a lot easier for me to avoid you than face you. My coping mechanism for a lot of pressure in my life is to typically run away and find somewhere safe. I think I need to dismantle that because there are some things I shouldn't run away from. Some things are worth working through. Committing is more than just beautiful words.

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