People that would treat me poorly so readily. No second thoughts and no third considerations.
I found myself extremely sad in some moments of my otherwise sunny day today.
I kept thinking about why I'm treated so poorly by people I give pieces of my trust to. Pieces of my love.
I thought about the many ways I lack. The many ways I could be unintentionally triggering their dissatisfaction of me.
Trigger a motivation to hurt some part me.
Today, my eyes were welling with insecurity. If I could be less annoying maybe? More docile maybe? Perhaps I am too naive, uninteresting, stupid?
I thought about the many ways I could hate myself. It felt kind of hard to breathe and I wanted to dissappear.
I don't want to be around people that would treat me poorly so readily. With no second thoughts or third considerations. When longevity fell apart, a was displaced. Meant to go farway. Never to be heard, and never to be seen.