Thoughts that keep me awake.
We hardly interact. I don't know much about who you are when no one is looking. I don't understand you or what you want from me.
I can't act on contradicting pieces of information. I pull information like pulling petals from a flower, 'loves me, loves me not'. Everybody says different things. In my frame of reference, no rational person acts on bias. I need to know for sure. I don't want to live in fantasy. I don't want to feel stupid.
What I feel right now is that, I don't think there's anything about me, or what I can offer that you would want. That you would hold. That you would cherish. Nothing at all.
I think I will give up on this. My head hurts, and my heart has been hurting also.
Here are the truths: (1) You know how I feel about you. You have that information. It's truly been up to you what you want to do with it. (2) What you show you me is my conclusion.