Blue.

Me — i.e, jpenseur

My mind is hard to manage. It has a hard time deciding if life is good or bad. It's never in a state of balance.

It chooses a side and it stays there for a while. Right now it's depressive, unpleasant, and painful. It keeps telling me I'm a sort of slow poison. That I'm disappointing. That I'm not someone people should be around. I have this urge to hide away. To be unseen. To be un-known. To be un-feeling. 

I have gotten really good at showing people that I'm good. That I'm always good. A seamless cut between my insides and the outside. It makes me feel nauseous a lot of the time. It's not socially acceptable to be sad all the time yet I can be.

No one knows me. No one gets me, and that makes me the loneliest person in the world. 


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