There was so many reminders today. I wished that whenever some talked about their relationships I didn't have to roll back to my negative experiences. It's just carrying that weight when I'm trying to be my best self is such hindrance. I know in my heart that I have moved on from it all; my brain just associates those experiences. I am not fond of that at all. 

 Reinvention is such a beautiful word. Growth and betterment. 

Some days I have this strong lamenting feeling about myself and the world. It's as if I am carrying a tremendous weight that's too cold for comfort. A weight that penetrates deep within the physical. I find this frequent occurrence peculiar. I wonder whether I should blame myself for not having the ability to be resilient and happy. I wonder whether this weight is something outside of myself; perhaps a collection of pessimism and disrespect I pick up throughout the day? I don't know. All I know is I don't like it at all. I feel that maybe it's triggered by something. I am actively working on getting rid of those triggers in my life. 

I think the prerequisite to abundance is the complete erasure of jealousy. 

I find myself in this familiar position of comparing myself to other people, and doubting whether I'm competent and intelligent enough. It's frustrating how much I doubt myself. Start focusing on what makes you great. 

The treatment was horrendous. Each moment felt like jabs at my existence. Such malice, such deprived thoughts and remarks. I curse you with my contempt. No person should feel the way you made me feel. My hands were tied, and so my hands are tied.  

There were a few words of wisdom imparted to me by someone who I believed to have lived a full life. One thing in particular that stood out to me was to be grateful for the part of life that may not necessarily be happy or enjoyable. It made me think about all the troughs I have encountered that have tremendously hurt and affected me. It made me question why my suffering was something to be grateful for. The reasoning was that a full life can only be achieved when we are constantly knocked down; being at our lowest enables us to reach greater heights. I was told the importance of experiencing all of it and learning to love each moment. To see this person and sense their feeling of contentment; I have no doubt in my mind that that lesson brought to me is nothing but the truth.